If the end-of-the-year holiday traditions are bringing up conflicted feelings for you, you’re not alone. For many people, feelings of nostalgia can bring up regret; trying to create (or re-create) community can feel isolating; and even joyful activities can remind us of old pains that we usually try to ignore.

Anyone who has tried to maintain a holiday tradition in the wake of a loss or major life change can tell you: Trying to keep things as they were is its own kind of torture.

Yes, another “holiday edition” blog post. They’re springing up everywhere!

This is a good one, especially for my fellow Bi+ (bisexual, pansexual, non-monosexual) folks, especially if you are in a relationship with a partner of a different gender. Bi+ people are less likely to be out, and can easily get roped into phobic rhetoric that is annoying on a good day, but triggering on a bad day.

People often feel like they have “no choice” but to commit to stressful, sometimes harmful family events. Hey guess what, you don’t have to. But if you do decide to attend, you can make it less painful for yourself and maybe even have a good time.

We need to feel discomfort first, for it to go away. This doesn’t mean you have to dwell on it for days or weeks. In fact, you’ll be surprised at how even a 20-minute conversation with someone who is listening can ease your pain. Here are some questions you can ask.

Wanting to do your best is great, but using an arbitrary definition of what “best” is, will hold you back from opportunities instead of propel you toward your goal. If you wait until everything is perfect, you’ll be waiting a long time.

Don't panic if you have disagreements before you get married. The important thing is to learn how to address these issues as they come up. That's a skill that will take you to your 25th anniversary and beyond.

I was happy to contribute to Lauren Schumacker's piece over at Romper.com about how to tell if your relationship is toxic. She was able to compile a pretty good list and some helpful advice (some of it from yours truly) about what to do if you suspect your relationship is toxic.

What's more fun? Watching the "highlight reel" or the "blooper reel" of life?

Does it help you personally to relive the times you **nailed it**, or to dissect the times you screwed up? To celebrate your success, or to wallow in your failure? Which is more useful? More educational? More revealing?

If your goal-setting isn't working, it might be because you're focusing on the wrong tasks. Have you ever set a deadline...and then kept moving it? Do you want to be a marathon runner but don't know where to start? Use this guide to figure out how to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be.